Apogee

    An old story of love and madness, which I tell to remind her. Not that it was necessary because she is unforgettable. She wanted such an impossible fate, and I pretended to agree to make her smile. And it was the most beautiful smile in the world. I liked her presence, her way of seeing the world, in a way that was sometimes even sick that could make his ears bleed at her opinion. What she wanted are things that will never happen because more people like her would be needed, which is impossible again. All the words spoken by those lips will never be spoken by any other being, nor can they be described by me. It is really ineffable. Her mesmerizing beauty could not be reproduced either by photography, she was almost unreal. Quite singular, she was quiet too, and I never saw her talk for more than a minute with anyone but me. It was like I was special. Like I was your translator. Too bad until today I didn't discover your language. One day, seized by fury, she appeared in front of me in a red satin nightgown. It could be the most beautiful apparition. I was lying in the grass of a huge garden, cultivated in the back of my house, watching the stars when I heard her say, "Finish my life." After observing that beautiful piece of art that spoke to me, I noticed that she was holding a revolver. I can't tell if I was scared or not. The sparkle in his gaze was so similar to the sky that I had just looked. It took a few minutes for me to realize what was going on. Maybe because she always made me think I was in a dream. I think she got scared for me because she said “Didn't you hear me? Finish my life.” I got up and hugged her. She started to cry. Not that I'm sadistic, but your lament was beautiful. I dare say it was perfect. I managed to whisper, “Why?” And she with difficulty replied, “Because I can't do that. I just found that I need you for everything, even to cease to exist. If you do, I will go in peace. Even happy. Please do it. I can't stand this useless life anymore.” When I heard that, even my insensitive heart seemed to scream in pain. She was my goddess. I never loved anything or anyone more than her. It was suffocating to hear every word spoken so painfully. Worse, I knew the reason for your suffering. I felt it too. However, she didn't know how to be cynical, didn't hide her anger when she saw she was unique. Yes, even she knew that. For her, being different was distressing. Which is understandable to someone who will never be understood. It will happen to me. I will be judged forever in the worst way. I will never be forgiven. But it is not for forgiveness that I hope. It's just a sleepless night I want. One night where I can dream about that charming woman, watching her smile. Something that doesn't remind me of that tragic night when I was asked to say goodbye to the most perfect being. For if you hadn't asked me to, I'd never shoot your chest and never have to see your scarlet blood mingle with the red satin.